


A Love Story By George Orwell

by EstherRomanov



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, High School, LIam's POV, M/M, Murder, Mystery, Suicide, Supernatural Elements, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 16:39:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15976283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EstherRomanov/pseuds/EstherRomanov
Summary: When imagination comes into reality courtesy of the naivety of one high school student.





	A Love Story By George Orwell

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve corrected the typographical errors and edited some. And because it’s only now do I fucking realize that Buzz Lightyear couldn’t have existed in 1980’s (seriously, how dumb am I?), let’s just pretend Buzz did exist that time and let us suspend our disbelief for a moment, yeah?

They are on their third week of discussing _1984_ by George Orwell on their literature class. How it came that far for a supposedly short and apprehensible novel, Liam could only guess. Perhaps it is because of all the political drama becoming rampant these days and so Sir Cowell decided that his students should have a political opinion of their own, ditto the novel that is out of its time. Liam thinks it’s unnecessary (having their lit prof concerned about his students’ political opinion, that is). What with the girls of every color in their class always exclaiming about female empowerment and protesting about wage gap during lunch, the swarthy and pale boys in class protecting their ego and their rights from feminazis. When did Liam’s school become this loud? And they are only high school students, for god’s sake. If Liam didn’t know better, he’d think Sir Cowell is only feeding the fire, that growing animosity between girls and boys in their class. 

Louis laughs at him and calls him paranoid when he told him of this opinion while they are getting out of the school premises. But the two of them, Liam and Louis, there’s also been a growing tension between them, right when Liam became more than convinced that his friend is either a pathological liar or plain mad, and when Louis realizes that Liam does not believe his “lies” anymore. Liam does not know when will all these pretentiousness end, when will they decide that this friendship won’t work anymore and call it quits. But Liam does not know either if he can take ending this with the shorter tanned boy. After all, he is all he has. He is his first love. 

Call it puppy love or mere crush or whatever, but when they were young boys they were inseparable. Liam was fat and alone and Louis had come swooping in befriending him with no one asking him to. Louis was like the sun, his knight in shining armor, his twin, his joy, and, yes, Liam is really cheesy. Then fifth grade happened and the Payne family had to move away due to the father’s business. For the next years, Liam worried if Louis has forgotten about him, if Louis has found another boy (or girl) to rescue from loneliness and became his loyal companion to his constant adventures. Liam liked to imagine that that is not so. He truly believed that if you imagine something, if you try hard enough, it will be real in your eyes. Still, he worried Louis would forget. He worried because he, Liam, never forgets. 

Dare he forget that one time they got lost in the woods one Halloween night because Louis suddenly got so brave and smart, and then they ended up next town? Dare he forget that because of that incident the woods became their shortcut to the movie theater in New Loungolden and the animal zoo in Barbarossa? Dare he forget the seven months close surveillance under their parents because of a reported child serial killer on the loose, how they managed to sneak out to play in the meadows until nighttime, and that one time a stranger approached Liam at twilight in the meadows with candies and chocolates in tow, but Louis grabbed him before Liam can get hold one of those precious sweets and they ran and ran until they reach the Payne threshold, Louis exclaiming “I just saved your life, idiot!” while wiping away Liam’s blanch dirty tear-stained cheeks with his hands? Dare he forget that one time in Christmas when Louis kissed him out of nowhere saying he is his best gift ever? Dare he forget those many times that they play pirates or samurai warriors and they have no props aside from Louis’ overactive imagination to play with? Dare he forget the many fistfights Louis had to protect Liam from his bullies? Or the Buzz Lightyear toy that Louis bought from all of his savings just for Liam’s birthday? Or the Saturdays in the park where they babysit Louis’ sisters? Or Louis asking him for a dance in a school festival despite being partnered with pretty little Eleanor and Liam was with Danielle? The Platters playing while Louis attempted to circle Liam in his scrawny arms? No, Liam won’t forget. Never. 

And ten years later, the Payne family came back to Louisiana (business matters again but hopefully this time they stay for good). Now in high school, and now Liam met Louis again, and Louis has never forgotten about him, too! How cool is that! So our hero finally decided to admit his feelings that he discovered never reduced to anything else to his childhood friend. I mean, really, what is there to stop him now? And what is there to tell him that this is not meant to be? 

Only Louis was already blabbering about meeting someone else. A boyfriend. A boyfriend! 

Liam successfully hid the hurt when Louis told him this. “Who is he? Have I met him before?” 

Louis’ lips unfurled to a quizzical smile. “His name is Harry Styles. And no, you haven’t met him yet.” 

“Can I?” 

“Soon. Soon” 

That was also when Liam noticed the subtle changes in his friend. Louis always looks down when he smiles now when before he was not afraid to laugh out loud. Before he was brash and outspoken and very lively no room could contain him. Now he’s mellow and quiet and likes to stay out of people’s business. Could be time, could be puberty, or could be Harry changing him! Liam doesn’t know. Liam can’t even decide if he likes the change presented before him. All he knows is that he just wants to meet the boy Louis is always about when they meet. 

“Soon, I promise. You’ll meet him soon.” 

But it’s four months now and Liam hasn’t seen Harry. 

“How old is he?” 

“Our age.” 

“Where does he live?” 

“Next town.” 

“Where does he study?” 

“Next town.” 

“What does he look like?” For even pictures Louis can’t provide! If Liam doesn’t know any better Louis is just shitting him with this boyfriend thing. But he trusted that his friend would never lie. For what can Louis gain from lying about a boyfriend? 

“He’s taller than you, Li. He has a long curly hair that suits him right. He has green eyes and dimples. He likes to work out a lot. He has tattoos up and down his arms. Has affinity for pink suits and floral shirts…” 

It always impresses Liam how Louis could describe Harry so freely and how Louis doesn’t fail to give updates on his beau. Like the last time Harry cut his hair short and decided to grow a beard now. And just last week when Harry decided to take up song-writing and his voice is the most angelic thing ever, according to Louis. 

“And when did you two meet?” Liam tried again, his inquisitiveness unconquerable. 

“Oh, long ago. Not long after you went away.” 

Liam didn’t miss the strange gleam in his eyes and he didn’t miss the almost accusing tone. He wanted to defend himself and say he didn’t want to leave Louisiana either. He just urged Louis to go on with his story, though. 

“I was nine. He was nine. I was playing alone in the meadows, see. That was when the Polaroid Murders finally stopped. I heard crying by the lake and he was there… He was lost, he said. And I helped him find his way home. We used our shortcut in the woods! We then became friends. The rest, as they say, is history.” And then Louis smiled that beautiful smile Liam had never seen him smile before. 

“Has Niall or any of our friends met him? Or am I the only one...?” 

Louis shook his head. “I’ve told them about Harry, too.” 

Liam liked to retort that there’s a big difference between seeing and telling but for a reason or the other, he dropped the subject off and he went to Niall’s house instead. Has he seen Harry? 

“Louis told me about ‘im coupla times,” Niall answered with a shrug. “No, scratch that. A lot of times. Ever since we started high school. He sounded real proud about him, too.” 

“But you haven’t seen Harry in person.” 

“No. Don’t bother about it, Liam. I don’t think Louis has any plans of introducing us to him in person. It’s been three years since Louis told me about ‘im.” 

“Do you think Harry’s real, though? What if Louis is just, you know, lying?” 

“It’s all a question of what-ifs, isn’t it?” Then Niall faced him with some concern in his eyes. “But why would you think Louis would lie to us ‘bout somethin’ like this, though? He knows we can always investigate.” 

Investigate. Of course. Why didn’t Liam think of that before? 

“Ni, have you ever looked into this Harry person?” 

“No. Never had any real interest in someone’s private life, Li. If Louis’ still not prepared to show him to us, that’s on him. I’ve got a life of me own.” 

“But you never saw him in any circumstance. Niall, Louis said he met him ten years ago here in Brookenshire. And like Louis, you’ve never left this town! How come?” 

Niall’s eyes narrowed. “And what exactly are you driving at?” 

So Liam and Niall asked people around. They asked people in the town of New Loungolden if there is a Styles family there. If there is a single mother named Ann with two children named Gemma and Harry. The answer: there was! There was, but they moved now. The people don’t have any clues where they are now. They moved right about the time the Polaroid Murders are drawing to a close. The people remember because it was on paper. They even pointed the house the Styles family lived in: an old, rickety two-storey house in Buridan Avenue that was not even put on sale or on repair for that matter. 

“They left in a hurry,” they said. 

“They swore the house is haunted.” 

“Rumor has it someone committed suicide in that house.” 

Niall doesn’t know what to make from all of these. Meanwhile, Liam feels relieved, that even though Louis lied about Harry’s whereabouts, he now knows that there is indeed a Harry. What a mysterious boyfriend Louis has. 

A whole week passed without Louis going to school, and it greatly worried Liam. The Saturday of that week, he visited his friend. Seeing Jay and Lottie again is a bonus, but what he wanted is to see his dear acquaintance. He was led by Lottie to Louis’ room, and in there Louis was sitting up in his bed. He still looked exhausted caused by the flu that his mother and sister said he caught that week, but right then Louis was fully concentrated on sketching something on his pad. He didn’t even notice Liam’s entrance. 

Fine then. While Louis was intensely focused on his job, Liam looked around the room and was dumbfounded to see dozens, no, thousands of portraits of a young man Liam didn’t know the name of. Some scattered on the floor, some tacked on the walls, still others stacked on the overflowing desk, are the sketches of a handsome man in different angles. They exhibit his different expressions, the different clothes he’s wearing, the maturity of his face. Some showing his smile, his dimples. Some portraying him with serious expression, eyebrows furrowed. Other portraits of him with long hair, others with short and with growing facial hair. Who is this man? Did Louis draw all these? Since when? And for what? 

“Liam.” 

Louis was looking up at him with a tired smile. He was finished with his drawing and was showing it to Liam with pride. Again, the young man with the short curly hair, looking right ahead, sketched with a grave expression. “This… this is Harry.” 

Liam had no clue on what to say. He stared at the man in the picture, who creepily seems to be staring straight back. The look was antagonizing, as if the man in the paper can bludgeon his way inside Liam’s head. 

“I was afraid to draw him, you see. But Harry encouraged me. He said it’s time. He said I can do it. And when I finally started drawing, I couldn’t seem to stop. I hope I did him justice.” 

Liam was more than sure Louis captured Harry’s appearance perfectly right, that he’s face to face with the Harry Styles right then. How he’s sure of that, no one can guess. 

“You missed a week of school just to draw him?” 

Louis laughed a little. “And I caught a bit of flu for this, too.” 

“Why? Why did you do all these?” 

“For you. Didn’t you say time and again that you want to see what he looks like?” 

Liam was angered by Louis’ childish behavior. “I didn’t ask for you to… Haven’t you got any pictures of him? Real photographs. Or, better yet, can’t you just let me see him?” 

The smile on Louis’ face dropped. His eyes grew cold, causing goosebumps all over Liam. The tone next used became accusing. “He’s right. You’re way too prying. What is it to you? He heard you’re asking about him next town, you and Niall. Isn’t that right?” 

The hair on Liam’s nape was still standing. He found himself not wanting to be under the scrutiny of Louis’ questioning gaze. He didn’t even want to answer Louis’ question out of fear of the unknown. When did Louis become this scary? 

_No. Not Louis. But something else in this room gave Liam the creeps._

“You don’t believe he’s real, do you? Because you haven’t seen him yet. But don’t you know? To believe is to see.” Then, Louis dismissed his previous question. “No matter. You shouldn’t worry, Liam. Soon, real soon, I promise. Soon you’ll finally meet Harry. He said it’s about time anyway. He said I’m now strong enough! Not only I can see him but everyone as well. Why, next month is his birthday. There will be a party at his house.” 

After that he left Louis’ room and opted to ask Lottie who was tending the garden. Yes, he is prying. Yes, he has no right. But he is deathly curious of this Harry character and what horror he’s doing to his first love. And, ultimately, he believes that curiosity-kills-the-cat doesn’t apply to him. 

He asked Lottie straightaway if she knows Harry and if she met him yet. 

Lottie considered the question which consequently made Liam apprehensive of the answer. “I haven’t. I don’t think I ever will. Because he’s not real, Liam. At least, that’s what I believe. To tell, I’ve always thought, when we were kids, that Harry is an imaginary friend of Louis. Even Mom says he is. But we were growing, Liam, and it seemed Harry was growing with us because Louis won’t shut up about him. And over time, with every story Louis tells us about Harry, he became more and more real.” 

“…” 

“It’s like Louis let this imaginary friend grow with him, and I don’t know why he let that take control over his life. Sometimes we amuse our brother whenever he talk about Harry, and say we’d like to meet this friend he seems to care for so much. Louis can come up with as many excuses as he can, Liam. ‘Invite him for Phoebe’s birthday party, Lou.’ ‘He fell sick.’ ‘Let’s visit their house this weekend.’ ‘They went away for another family visit in another state.’ ‘Why don’t you invite him for a sleepover?’ ‘He has a school project he needs to finish.’ ‘Why don’t I see him around, Louis?’ ‘We prefer to play outside.’ Etcetera, etcetera.” 

Liam stayed quiet. 

“Last night was the first time I saw what Harry looks like, or what Louis thinks Harry looks like, in one of Brother’s drawings,” Lottie continued talking. 

Liam liked her to say that the drawings gave her the creeps, too. For surely he is not the only one to feel that there’s something very wrong in… in Harry. 

She lowered her voice. “To see is to believe, Liam. So although Harry sounds real in the myriads of my brother’s stories, I don’t think he exists. Though, honestly, I felt like I’ve seen Harry before… when we were kids… I can remember his smile, I just can’t remember when and where. But I know that’s impossible.” Her wandering eyes fell on him. 

“I’m sorry you had to see him like this. But Louis seemed all right, right? Maybe it’s all a lie. Maybe he became so sad when you went away that he had to invent Harry. Maybe he is just a part of Louis’ wild imagination, but Louis can still function in our society. It’s not as if he belongs to an asylum just for having an imaginary friend.” 

She fell silent for a moment. Then she asked. “You seemed oddly concerned for Lou, and dislike this imaginary friend. You pit yourself against him. Why?” 

He might as well come out with the truth, for he can always tell things to Lottie because once, before, he also stepped in as her brother. “I guess I’m just bitter that Louis didn’t become mine first.” 

The younger girl nodded her head in understanding. “You’ll find someone, Liam.” 

They exchanged smiles that reassured them both. 

And Liam couldn’t find it in him to tell her that there is really a Styles family that lived next town, so as not to complicate things. Harry is not real, and that’s that. 

Jay then went out and asked if Liam would like to stay for tea. The young man politely declined, he didn’t want to stay in that house any longer, but he did go home in lighter spirits. 

Weeks passed. Louis returned to school and he’s telling his friends of Harry’s birthday party. He’s keeping a countdown. 

“You’re all invited, guys. Harry wants to see you.” 

“Now he wants to show himself, huh?” Zayn asked with a grin. “After all these years of evading us.” 

“I’ve seen you’re drawings of him, Lou. I want to see him now! I’m so excited,” Eleanor exclaimed. 

_What could you be playing now?_ Liam wanted to ask. _How will you show us Harry when he’s not real? Did you find someone who looks like Harry? Did you find somebody who can play Harry so as to continue this act? Or has your sanity finally gone berserk? Which is it?_

Liam looked around their group of friends. It seemed only him and Niall were not excited over Louis’ news. After classes, he ushered Niall to the back of the school library to ask him what’s been bugging him. 

Niall seemed afraid and angry and anxious and confused all into one. 

“What is it? Tell me.” 

It took a while before Niall answered. “Well, remember when you told me that Harry might be Louis’ imaginary friend that Louis never let go of?” At Liam’s nod, he continued. “We’ve concluded that the Harry Styles who lived next town and moved away is different from the Harry Styles Louis made up. How he came upon that name is maybe coincidence, how strait that chance might be. And how Louis managed to create Harry’s physical appearance is all thanks to his imagination. Bottom line is Harry is not real. We got that right. Right, Liam? Right?” 

“Right, Ni. So why..?” 

“So who was the boy Louis was with I saw last night? He looks exactly like the one Louis drew!” 

“Explain yourself.” 

“I took a shortcut by the meadows last night, when I saw Louis walking there with a boy in a floral coat. The one Louis has in his drawings. The one he’s always describing in words.” Niall’s eyes were wide, pleading for Liam to give an explanation to this insanity. 

“I don’t know, Ni.” 

“That’s not all, Liam. Louis didn’t saw me when I walked by them but _he_ did and I felt… it felt… shit! I can’t explain it!” he cursed in irritation. “I mean, I am ready to accept that we’ve been made fools by our own curiosity to see Harry so eagerly to find he’s real all this time but… But I felt something evil when he stared at me, Liam! Something is wrong with him. He doesn’t belong in this world. Whatever he is, he is not human! I know right there and then that I have to save Louis and I have to go to Harry’s party because I know something will happen but… but I’m afraid of him.” 

Liam took hold of Niall’s trembling shoulders. “Calm down, Niall. I felt the evil, too, in one of Louis’ drawings.” 

“What shall we do?” 

But they both know. They investigated again. In the public library, they searched for books about supernatural. They could’ve laughed at the silliness of it. This mundane world having a supernatural mystery? What a laugh. But it’s the only way to explain what is happening. They stumbled upon a lot of books regarding the occult, demon summoning, Satanic rituals. They discovered that the meadows before was a pagan ground. Could this have meaning? Could all these have anything to do with Louis? 

Or maybe they should search about schizophrenia? Dissociative personality disorder? Pathological lying? What? What should they prow to gain understanding? 

Or maybe they could just return to the other town and inquire if the Styles are back in town and it is who Louis was talking with in the meadows that night? Maybe something as simple as that. 

But they had no time left. 

A night before Harry’s birthday party, Liam received a phone call. 

Louis sounded hopeful at the other end of the line. He wanted to make sure Liam will attend the party. 

“Of course,” Liam answered. He heard someone talking in Louis’ background. “You’re with someone?” 

“Yes,” he said with a laugh. Still all these years his laugh sounded as melodic as ever. “Harry’s here. I’ve just introduced him to the girls earlier.” 

In the background, Liam heard someone say, “Hi, Liam!” The voice of a male, deep, husky. 

“That’s Harry,” Louis said gaily. 

Despite of his heart suddenly dropping, Liam smiled. Niall’s rant echoed in his mind. ‘We’ve been made fools by our own curiosity to see Harry so eagerly to find he’s real all this time.’ He looked down at his book about medieval mysteries lying on his lap. He closed it firmly and tossed it away. 

_Harry is real, after all. And Louis’ sisters just met him. He’s not imaginary. Not a demon. Maybe my jealousy is getting out of hand that I thought there’s something evil in his face. Maybe Niall was jealous too. Maybe he feels something for Louis too. Who wouldn’t? Louis is the sun, a knight in shining armor. Eitherway, Niall and I both lost._

“I’m going to be there, Louis. What time again?” 

“Err… six pm. Wait, I’ll give you the address. You know how to go to New Loungolden, right?” 

Liam snorted. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sorry. 231 Buridan Avenue, New Loungolden. We can all go after class.” 

“I guess. Who else would be there?” 

“Our classmates. Zayn. My sisters.” 

“How about your mom?” Shit. He only caught on his words after they leapt from his tongue. How idiot can he be, how insensitive to ask of Louis’ mom, when Jay died ten years ago! Someone should quench him quick. “I’m sorry, Lou. I’m so stupid. I forgot and I… Lou? You’re still there?” 

“Yes,” Louis responded after some time. “It’s alright, Liam. It’s just a silly mistake on your part. I’m sure Mom would love to go to the party, too, if she’s still here.” 

Liam sighed in relief. “Yeah. I think I’ll go now. I don’t want to—” 

“Wait! Harry wants to talk to you.” 

Liam frowned. “Why?” 

“Well, duh. You’ve been so eager to find out if he’s real or not. Here.” The phone was passed. Liam stayed quiet, suddenly apprehensive. He wanted to click the phone off, he was about to but the speaker at the other end of the line started talking. 

“Is this Liam?” the tone was cold. 

Liam tried not to let his nervousness show and put on a fake jolly voice. “Harry? Finally. Louis talks about you. A lot.” 

A short laugh. “I know. Ever since your return, right?” 

“Y-yes…” 

Both were quiet. At Harry’s end, Liam couldn’t even hear anything. Is Louis still there with this creature? 

“You’ve been digging up about me again, haven’t you?” Harry spoke suddenly, a hint of malice in his voice. 

“No!” 

“No need to deny. I see you and Niall going to the library and reading the wrong things. The occult? Seriously? What a laugh.” 

Fear for his life and Louis’ life made him ask, “What exactly are you?” 

Harry snickered. “What a joke. You’ve been misconstrued, Liam, I’ll tell you that. But it doesn’t matter anyway. Tomorrow you will see me and by then your slushy research wouldn’t matter.” Pause. “Do you know that as someone grows older, one also grows stronger? Be it physically or mentally.” 

“What are you on about?” 

“Until tomorrow, Liam.” Then, before the line got cut off, he said, “I wish I had someone like Louis who would stop me from getting that chocolate candy.” 

Liam didn’t sleep a wink that night. 

And now, on their third week of discussing George Orwell’s _1984_ , on the day of Harry’s birthday party, at five pm, Liam waits for Niall in the bus stop. They would go to 231 Buridan Avenue, New Loungolden together. 

Louis separated from him earlier. He said he has to help Harry prepare. He’ll have to wait for Niall alone. 

So Liam waits. And while waiting did he did some thinking. Something clicks in him. 231 Buridan Avenue. Isn’t that the old haunted house, the one beyond repair? How can someone hold a party there? 

What is Louis playing again? 

Does he dare to go now? 

Wait, what did they talk about again last night? Harry met the girls but not Jay. But why? Jay isn’t dead. Liam just saw her a month ago when he visited Louis after he absented himself for a week from school. She even invited him for tea. Where did the thought come from? Why did Liam think that Jay committed suicide ten years ago? Jay didn’t die. Louis knows that. But why does it seem that Jay’s death is now a fact? 

Just what the fuck is happening? 

His thoughts are interrupted by Niall quietly taking the seat beside him. His eyes are faraway and there is a thick folder in his lap. 

“I don’t think we should go, Liam.” 

“Yes, I know. The address Louis gave, it’s the haunted house people are talking about in New Loungolden.” 

Niall’s hand trembles. “Not just that, Liam.” Without a word, he hands him the unusually thick folder. 

Liam opens the childish folder with cartoonish windowpane designs. It reveals a newspaper clipping from ten years ago. May 23, 1988, the date of the first newspaper is. 

POLAROID MURDERS FINALLY STOPS, is the headline. 

Of course Liam remembers this horror. ‘Twas the reason their playtime in the meadows became limited. Louis didn’t take the child scare seriously at first but when a schoolmate in the name of Josh Devine has fallen victim, brave Louis became cautious Louis. And one of the reasons his dad accepted his job in Colorado was to get away from these murders. 

A man offers sweets to a child, then the child is gone. A Polaroid photo of him/her will appear where he/she last seen and they usually show the miserable child lying down on a tiled floor, tied to the wrists and feet with duct tapes, dirty rags shoveled on their mouths. A day or two after the photo discovery the body will be situated where the picture was. The victims range from six to twelve years old, all lived in any of the three neighboring towns, and when investigated, was found out to have died by a number of brutal physical assaults. Seven of the girls and two of the boys found were raped, according to forensic examination. There were no form of communication from the killer, no ransom notes and no letters to taunt the police. Out of nowhere, the horror started and continued for the next seventeen months, which after that recorded no more activities. Out of nowhere, the horror stopped. No one was ever apprehended. Suspects were released due to lack of evidence. 

Niall directs his attention to the pictures of the slain children in the next page. There were 42 pictures in all, arranged in 7x6. Niall points to a picture of a boy in the third column, fifth row. The kid with chocolate brown hair, wearing a brown sweater and a big smile was staring straight to the camera. Even with the 1x1 photo, Liam swears his were pair of green eyes. 

“He looks familiar,” Liam mutters. 

His companion points again, this time to the caption. Liam reads. _5th row (from L to R): Solomon Goldsmith (7), Nina Tucker (8), Harry Edward Styles (8), Milly Ashford (9), Lunamaria Hawke (6), Faye Valentine (10)Conrart Weller (11),._

_Harry Edward Styles._

Liam turns to Niall, taken aback. He can’t find his words at first. So Louis’ chance of stumbling upon the name of Harry Styles is not as strait as they first thought it was. He must have read this paper years ago. It should make sense but at the same time it’s not. 

“Ni, what does this all mean?” 

Niall shakes his head and with spurting energy turns again the pages. November 14, 1987. Liam’s eyes are flying across the words. 

_THE MURDER CONTINUES. The body of Harry Styles, aged 8, of Buridan Avenue in New Loungolden, was found in a meadow in the neighboring town of Brookenshire exactly where his Polaroid photo was found the day before(…)experienced brutal assault (…) scratches, knife wounds (…) starvation (…) broke his legs and ribs (…) a blow at the back of his head that took his life._

Change of page. November 12, 1987 

_Another boy goes missing. Harry Edward Styles, aged 8, disappeared yesterday, November 11, from his home in Buridan Avenue, New Loungolden. His mother saw him last at about 6pm._

_“I was cooking dinner that time, and I didn’t notice him leave the house,” Ann Styles, aged 27, Harry’s mother, tells the police.(…) Mrs. Styles pleads to the kidnapper (….) First this month (..)thirty-first disappearance since the terror in Louisiana started (…) Authorities advice parents to keep a close eye over their children._

“Think, Liam,” Niall instructs when Liam is finished reading. 

“W-what… I don’t know what to feel… I… Louis!” 

Niall is patient and still alarming. “Today is November 11, Liam. Harry, this Harry,” he points to the newspaper, “disappeared right around 6pm. Louis’ Harry’s birthday party will start at 6.” 

November 11. Wasn’t that the day Louis saved his life? Liam was close to grabbing a candy an unfamiliar man was offering him. What time was that? Seven in the evening? Liam can’t remember if he noticed anything else then, if there’s a car or if there’s another boy in that car. But he remembers the sermon he got from his parents when Louis told them of his idiocy. He remembers his parents calling the police late that night so as to alert them that their son might be a key witness to identifying the Polaroid Murderer. He remembers being shamed to his very roots when he couldn’t describe to the police what the kidnapper looked like because his eyes were only on the candy offered. He could only remember a walrus, and the police didn’t know what to make of that. They left, saying Liam was a great help, but Liam knew it was a lie. 

Liam has lost his grip. “I don’t know what to make from all of these. Is he a ghost, then? But I thought he’s just Louis’ imaginary friend?” 

Niall shakes his head. “Ghost or not, be it the child Harry or not, whether it’s a shitty demon or a vengeful spirit that died in a murder or malaria or the gout or whatever fuck, or whether it’s just something that came out of the blue, it doesn’t matter. I don’t have any explanations. Like you, I don’t know what’s happening. All I know is that… Louis has always been imaginative, hasn’t he?” 

_And as one grows older, one also grows stronger. Be it physically or mentally._

_He said I’m now strong enough! Not only I can see him but everyone as well._

_Over time, with every story Louis tells us about Harry, he became more and more real._

_If you imagine something, if you try hard enough, it will be real in your eyes._

_Too see is to believe._

_To believe is to see._

_It’s all a question of what-ifs, isn’t it?_

_Oh, look at you. Poor thing. Don’t cry. Just think. What if you never died? What if instead of going with that man, you escaped and met me instead? What if we became friends? Then both of us won’t be lonely anymore. Won’t that be cool? We can play pirates or samurais or knights and make broadswords out of bamboo sticks and play in the meadows! See? We can do the impossible together!_

“I don’t want to go to New Loungolden, Liam. But I think I have no choice,” Niall says weakly. 

Liam doesn’t think he has any either. 

Like hopeless individuals that have accepted their fate, they take a ride to the party with no more words spoken to each other. 

The two-storey rickety old house in Buridan Avenue spells of doom. The rest of their friends are already inside, Liam and Niall can hear soft music coming from the house. 

Liam looks around the cobbled street. Weird, no one is around. As if suddenly this became a ghost town. He looks to his friend still holding firmly to his folder, a look of determination in his face. 

“What do you plan, Ni?” 

“I’m going to expose this, whatever this is with these papers. And whatever shall happen shall be prevented… I hope.” 

However, Liam has qualms in him. He knows for a fact that they can do nothing to stop whatever will happen, it’s already happening. It’s all useless. Liam and Niall can do nothing but play their part in the act that Louis prepared. No liquid of courage can smother the malicious plan going in motion. And once they enter that house, everything will change according to Louis’ imagination. 

When they were getting here, whilst riding the bus, Liam tries to remember the first time he and his dauntless first love met. A boy with sun-kissed skin had suddenly approached him when he was sitting under an apple tree in front of their school. He was eating his lunch alone because no one wants to eat with a fat boy like him. Then Louis came with his own lunchbox, frowning. 

“Hey, you,” he started and Liam expected a fight. “I was calling you for like a hundred times now. Can’t you hear me? I was calling you from my seat over there.” He pointed to a table near the hall, far away from the other kids. Then he looked at Liam with wonder and begging with his eyes. “Don’t you want to sit with me? Don’t you want to be my friend?” 

Liam remembers Buzz Lightyear, still in mint condition and is safely tucked in Liam’s shelf at home. He remembers playing pirates and samurai warriors in the meadows until twilight with nothing but their imagination. He remembers the invisible chest of gold, the bamboo-sticks-turned-into-samurai-swords, the invisible dragon, and the invisible powers. He also remembers the countless sleepovers and the art projects in Louis’ tree house, the trips to the woods without their parents none the wiser. Liam remembers that Platters song during that dance and _Carol of the Bells_ that played when Louis kissed him that Christmas. 

He remembers Louis’ teary eyes the day Liam and his family moved. “Don’t forget me,” Louis had said quietly. Then he wailed. “You’re so unfair! Why would you leave me here alone! You’re my bestfriend!” 

He remembers the following years. He remembers that they exchanged letters every so often because the Tomlinsons didn’t have a landline yet and when finally they had one in 1989, Liam’s dad had convinced him that it is very costly to call Louisiana from Colorado. Not even months passed by when the letters were getting infrequent until the correspondence reached a stop two weeks before 1990. Louis’ last letter tells him of an educational trip to Maine. Liam doesn’t remember if he ever responded to that. 

Liam remembers the feeling when he saw Louis again after ten years of longing. One good look and he knows he fell in love again. They met at school, on their way to their literature class. He was late because he became lost in the school building. Louis was late, too, because of reasons unknown. They bumped into each other. Light immediately diffused on Louis’ dull eyes when he recognized him, after all these years, and even though Liam is now far from the fat kid that he was. 

“Well, I’ll be damned. You’re _my_ Liam, aren’t you?” And with his scrawny sun-kissed arms, he pulled him in a tight embrace. 

Dare Liam forget to all of these? Dare he? For his life, he wouldn’t. No module can teach him how to. Never. 

He and Niall enter through the frameless door and inside it is dim, and they are alone. They stay put. From the lamppost outside that illuminates the ruined anteroom, they take in the sight of the falling walls, tattered floral wallpapers, the stairs that gave in due to time and white ants, the upholstered seat in the corner with its contents inside out., the chandelier above is loose from its rotten hinges and will soon drop and shatter on the dilapidated tiled floor. The place stinks of foul odor. There’s nothing that can save or brake the aging process of this hellhole. A rat, the size of a small dog, squeaked its way into a large hole between the anteroom and the kitchen when it saw the two humans. 

“Li?” Niall’s hand found his. He is scared. 

Then they hear a music… a song. _Wind of Change_ by Scorpions. 

“What is this? Throwback Sunday?” Zayn’s voice, faint, coming from somewhere in this dark living room. “Nah, just kidding, Harry. We’re cool.” 

They hear Louis’ voice. He’s chatting animatedly with Zayn somewhere above them. They hear a voice (Harry’s) contributing to the conversation. What they are talking about, they couldn’t hear for the voices are drowned by the sound of more people talking around them. There is laughter, the sound of someone chewing food, drinks spilled. The floor shakes to indicate that there are people moving about, too. But the newcomers can’t see anyone, just darkness and the faded glory of the house. They look wildly around, getting more anxious and more afraid. There’s no one in this decrepit of a place. 

“Liam! What are you doing, standing just there?” Eleanor’s voice boomed by Liam’s right. Liam looked in that direction. Again, nothing. 

A tap on Liam’s shoulder. And in a wink, everything around him changes. The dark room became lighted. The old tattered walls are now designed by floral wallpapers, an altar of picture frames on one side, the punch table on the other. The empty room is suddenly filled with people, their classmates and friends. Eleanor materialized in front of him, looking at him funny. 

“What the hell happened to you? You looked lost for a second there.” 

There’s something different about her, Liam can’t tell what. Why did he come here with no backup plan? 

“Li! I thought you’d never come!” Harry is waving at him from the top of the stairs where he is with two other individuals. He is smiling that familiar dimpled smile. Liam can’t help but to notice that he’s wearing a pink button down shirt that must be two sizes too small for him so as to accentuate his muscled arms. His jeans are tight, complemented by military boots. Traces of a growing beard are beginning to be noticed. But it suits him, just like what everybody thinks. 

His arm is draped rather possessively around Louis’ thin frame, and is laggardly running his hand up and down the shorter boy’s shoulder. And Louis… Louis is smiling at Liam, too. His choice of fashion changed. Instead of jacket and band t-shirt, he’s wearing a wooly jumper that must be too big for him. His hair he kept long and fluffy. And he looked… clean. No trace of a boy who runs in the wild and hides in the woods and gets into fistfights in his childhood. He looks pale and sickly. 

Zayn is with them, and he is looking at Liam with fondness in his eyes and is motioning at him to come up join them. Liam smiles at the sight of his boyfriend. 

Zayn is his boyfriend. 

All of a sudden, new memories take hold of Liam. 

November 11, 1987. He and Louis were walking home when they found a kid with chocolate brown hair by the street bawling his eyes out. 

Being the helpful kid, Louis asked him. “Whatever the hell happened to you?” 

“I got lost.” 

“How?” 

“A man was planning to take me in his car. But I ran. Now I’m lost.” 

Liam and Louis exchanged a look. “Shit,” Louis muttered. “Good for you! What does he look like, that criminal?” 

The boy shook his head helplessly. His knees gave in and he slumped down on the culvert. “I don’t know. Help me get home, please?” 

“Well, where are you from?” 

“231 Buridan Avenue, New Loungolden.” 

Louis’ throughput took prize the new information learned. He was impressed more than anything. “You live next town? And you ran all the way here? That’s like three hours if you take the shortcut in the woods. Liam and I have tried that time and again. How did you—” 

The boy cried louder. Louis immediately jumped to his feet and gathered him in his arms and comforted him. Liam felt jealousy for the first time. 

“Everything will be all right,” Louis told the boy. “Don’t cry now. This is no time be a coward. You have to be brave.” The boy beneath his arms cried louder. “Shh… You’re not a dastard. You’re brave and you certainly can find your way home. Yes, you can! See? Stand up. I will help you. What’s your name?” 

“Harry Edward Styles.” 

“My name’s Louis William Tomlinson. This is my bestfriend, Liam James Payne. We will help you find your way back home.” 

But instead, Louis only instructed Liam to go home fast as the roads might not be safe and he couldn’t risk Liam’s safety for this new adventure that’s calling him. “And don’t talk to strangers!” Louis instructed. Liam was touched. 

And because Louis is stupid as well as he is fearless, he took Harry’s hand and they took the shortcut in the dark woods. Liam couldn’t sleep that night. The next day, Liam heard from his parents what supposedly happened next. That night Jay went to the police station and reported about her son’s disappearance but in the morning a cab was in front of her house. A woman disembarked along with a boy and Louis. The woman, who introduced herself as Ann Styles, told Jay about Louis’ heroism, how at midnight when Ann was deathly worried for her boy’s life, there was a knock on the house in Buridan Avenue and in came hobbling two dirty boys: Harry and Louis. Harry told his mother what went down and what Louis did for him. Ann said they should report to the police but Harry said he and his new friend were tired. They slept together in Harry’s bed without letting go of each other’s hand. 

From then on Louis has found a new bestfriend. 

Every weekend, Louis and Jay traveled to visit that house in Buridan Avenue. Sometimes they take Liam, sometimes not. And Louis and Harry played and became good friends. Before he knew it, Liam was replaced by Harry. The wide meadows in Brookenshire were replaced by Harry’s backyard. Trips to the woods and samurai and pirate play-ups were replaced by sleepovers, board games, GI Joes, and toy guns. Louis left and never looked back. And Harry gladly took all what his skinny arms can grab onto without any leftovers for Liam to mull over. 

Liam was left out. It hurt. He remembered that one night he cried himself to sleep. His sun had found another orbit. His knight in shining armor had found another boy before his very eyes and Liam was being forgotten and he can’t do anything about it. 

Right before his eyes, Harry changed Louis. Who is this boy who suddenly wanted to visit museums, read comic books and watch movies rather than run free in the meadows and use his imagination? Who is this boy who suddenly wanted to be a comic artist or a novelist rather than be a fireman which both he and Liam originally wanted? Why was Harry mellowing Louis down? He was still fearless, all right, but why did it seem that Louis wanted to create worlds with his pen in the comfort of Harry’s side rather than experience the world with his feet and be with Liam? 

And when Louis caught pneumonia one day when he and Harry played in the latter’s backyard right when there was a strong rain, everything permanently changed. His health gave in, his body became weak, he became ill, he couldn’t come outside, he had to be bedridden for some time, and he quaffed off medicine drugs and vitamin supplements one after the other in the hopes of getting better. That was when Liam decided that he is not his Louis anymore. 

That Christmas when Louis kissed Liam never happened because the Styles family also spent that holy night in the Tomlinson household and Harry never left Louis’ bedside. Louis and Liam’s dance that school festival also didn’t happen because, as said, Louis was ill. And while Liam was dancing with Danielle while The Platters was playing, Harry was carefully teaching Louis waltz in Louis’ little room, singing _The Last Waltz_ by Engelbert Humperdinck softly that certainly made the sick boy giddy. 

Life went on and over time, like Liam, Louis was also replaced by Zayn. 

Liam was alone in the meadows for the weeks that came. With childish determination, he waited for Louis’ arrival every afternoon. He was always with two bamboo sticks so when Louis arrives they can play samurai straightaway. Only it was Zayn who passed by that afternoon. Zayn was one of Liam’s many bullies and without Louis to protect him, Liam knew he was doomed. As was, Zayn taunted and threatened to hurt him again. He was asking Liam if he would like a try for a black eye. But Liam had had enough of the bullying and the abandonment. He grabbed one of the bamboo sticks and won his first ever fight with it. Zayn cried and cursed him. A police came cruising by and the two boys were sent to the station. Both their parents were called. Both of their parents apologized for their children’s behavior, both demanding their sons to do the same and make up and be friends. 

That was the start. 

Zayn started following Liam in school because it turned that that he is deathly scared of his parents and he wouldn’t dare disobey their orders to endear himself to the other boy. He needed to do what his parents instructed him to, like how astronauts need their life-support system in space. He barged in to anyplace Liam was. He sat beside him during lunch, beside him during classes, beside him in the library; he waited for him in the school gate in the morning, and walked him home by afternoon, and it all made Liam edge on his sanity. Was Zayn trying his patience? Or was he the one who likes a try at a black eye? 

Liam was annoyed and his parents equally so when one Saturday, Liam won’t let Zayn in their house. The boy was just asking if Liam would like to play with him, for goodness’ sake! No, he was in no galliard mood to play with someone who likes pick a fight with anyone weaker, Liam reasoned spitefully. We’ll watch over you. Play in the vacant lot in front of our house so we can see you, they said. Then he was literally kicked out of the house. 

“What now?” asked Liam with a sour mood to Zayn, who was mounted in his bicycle that must be bigger than him. 

“Err… I don’t know. We can go around town, I guess. Grab your bike.” 

“I don’t have one. I don’t know how to ride in one. And we’re to play only in the vacant lot here, anyway,” he complained. 

Zayn was a little hesitant. “Well, I can just teach you ride a bike. Here, I’ll let you borrow mine.” 

For the next three weeks, that’s what happened. Zayn patiently taught him how to ride a bike. Liam remembers the wounds and scratches from these trainings in the vacant lot, and how Zayn mend them every time with band-aids he always brought because “I knew this would happen. I was like this the first time, too.” 

Come Liam’s birthday, he asked his parents for a bicycle. The bicycle rides Liam can remember now. They wouldn’t need the shortcuts in the woods to get to other towns, just their bicycles and their cautiousness to never strike a conversation with strangers. 

Liam remembers this friendship all too well. The lunch breaks under the apple tree in front of the school? Those times when Zayn taught him how to throw a punch? That time they put that training in good use during a school riot and they fought side by side? Those Saturdays Zayn was in Liam’s house and they share Mrs. Payne’s delicious cooking while watching some random cartoon shows? That one time they tried their hand in arts and crafts and constructed spacesuits out of milk cartons but the end product looked like coffins instead, so they tossed the offending cartons away and they went back to Zayn’s garage and Liam was taught basketball for the first time? And that one cold night when Zayn entered Liam’s room through a window, crying because his Pa beat him, and Liam tended those wounds; he even let him sleep beside him in bed while he watched over him! 

And when it was time for the Paynes to move to Colorado, it was Zayn that was devastated, not Louis. Louis was sad, yes, but Harry promised him and Liam that he would be Louis’ protector from then on. The sick boy won’t be alone under his watch. Harry would be the stronger one and he won’t make Louis cry, ever. 

Zayn screamed at him and pleaded with him. Liam couldn’t even fathom how a tough kid like Zayn could look so vulnerable at that moment. He didn’t want to leave Zayn like that but his family needed to move. Giving in, they made a promise to each other that they would always keep in touch. 

Unlike the letter correspondence between Liam and Louis that eventually stopped ( _Did that ever happen? In what universe?_ ), Liam never forgot to call Zayn every so often. He didn’t listen to his father’s tirade about the expensiveness of state-to-state call. They could go all night talking to each other over the phone. And Zayn’s calls always brought excitement to Liam. The things they tell each other! Never did the two boys forget to keep their communication. Why, twice a year Zayn makes it to a point to take a bus and go to Liam’s house in Colorado, and they can spend the whole day sitting on a scaur nearby and fish from the river below! Or look for misshapen treasures in a cul de sac near Liam’s new school. Whatever it is, it always felt like they didn’t leave each other at all. There’s not even a chance that they would forget each other. 

When Liam learned that they might go back to Louisiana, it was Zayn who he told the news. 

Liam came back, and it felt like he never left, literally. He was ready to admit that his feelings for the other boy evolved into something totally different over the years. Our hero wanted to come clean. I mean, they never let go of each other despite the passing time and the harrowing distance. Who is to say that this is not meant to be? But he had to step back when he noticed Zayn’s hesitance. There’s a chance Zayn feels the same thing for him but he was holding back for some reason. For three whole months they tried to treat each other as friends but not really. It was driving Liam mad! 

It was through Harry and Louis’ intervention that made them stop their cha-cha. Louis insisted that the four of them should walk outside. By then, Harry, Louis, Zayn and Liam became good friends then. The four took a stroll that night, taking time in every step as a consideration for Louis. It didn’t look like Harry minded being Louis’ walk support, not in the least; in fact it seemed his energy rockets whenever Louis unload his body’s weight on Harry’s like that and held on tight to his forearm like that. That made Liam smile. 

Louis stopped suddenly and pointed to the east, the meadows. “Look, Liam. Didn’t you say this is the place where you had a one-on-one with Zayn?” 

Harry was laughing. “You beat him with a bamboo stick, you said! To think your friendship started because of that.” 

Liam and Zayn both gaped. 

“And what happened after that, Liam?” Louis was asking with twinkle in his eyes. 

He told them. Zayn contributed bits and bits along the way. 

Halfway through, Louis said teasingly, “Ah, after that you then you said you might have crush on him. _Mon ami_ turned to _mon cheri_ , am I right?” Then he and Harry laughed at his face. The rascals! 

Liam reddened and Zayn stayed quiet. Louis gave a small cough and Harry had to take him home. Liam and Zayn stayed behind. They had a talk. What could it be that’s stopping them from telling they love each other? It’s only natural that they fall. They were each other’s everything. 

How that night ended, let’s just say was a success for Liam. He got what he wanted and that is Zayn. He got his happiness and it’s all thanks to Louis who answered two simple questions: _What if Harry lived? What if he met Louis?_

Liam stops in his tracks. 

Where did that fake memory come from? That’s not what happened. He and Zayn? Seriously? Of all people! He hated Zayn! Coming back from Colorado, he was even repulsed by the sight of Louis getting chummy with Zayn Malik. Louis befriended a childhood bully of his?!How unforgivable! 

No. Zayn and he could never happen. Whose sick fantasy was that? Is that really what would happen should Harry live? Is that what _happened_? and this happened because of Louis’ benign and stupid kindness to a kid crying by the culvert? 

“Babe?” Zayn asks. “You forget something? Or do you want me to escort you from there?” 

Liam looks up at the characters at the top with smouldering eyes. Zayn is still smiling affectionately at him, asking him if he’s a-OK. No, he’s not. Louis looks worried. And Harry’s threatening stare seemed to be saying, ‘Don’t you dare.’ 

_These two know what’s happening to me right now_ , Liam thinks. _They’re feeding me with lies. They are distorting my memories right now!_

_I won’t succumb to this. This has to stop. There must be a way._

_This is all a lie! A lie can be exposed._

_Niall!_

He looks around helplessly. Where are Niall and his folder of truth? Where is his friend? Didn’t he come here with Liam? Didn’t they both walk through that door? Didn’t he hold Liam’s hand out of fear? 

Then again, who is Niall? Is there ever a Niall? Did a Niall ever exist? Liam can’t recall. The name sure sounds familiar, though. 

Niall James Horan. 

On November 11, 1987, when Harry Edward Styles was running away from the bad man in the blue car with a sticker of a cartoonic walrus in its hood, the serial killer chanced upon another boy walking alone in the streets of Brookenshire that made him dismissed Harry. That boy of course, was Niall James Horan. His name appears in the list of the 57 children fallen victim of this terror that lasted for twenty months. 

Niall never existed in Liam’s world. He is dead long ago. 

It is understandable that Niall’s name should have an appeal to Liam. Because after this boy, it was Charlotte “Lottie” Tomlinson who later disappeared. Charlotte, a girl so dear that she once became like a sister to Liam, was found dead in front of the grocery store where her mother left her for a moment to grab something she forgot inside. But that’s not all. Lottie’s death caused Jay to commit suicide due to swelling guilt and grief. No guardians left, Anne took custody of Louis and the rest of his sisters. It is one of the many topics Zayn and Liam brushed up on their phone calls. How sad it is that there’s no more sun left for Louis. 

He never recovered from this. 

Louis was homeschooled the rest his life. In the confines of his room in the Tomlinson household and later in Harry’s room in Buridan Avenue, he received his lessons. He was not the same friendly boy as before – a boy who can even befriend a childhood bully ( _Again, in what universe?_ ) He was scared with every feint attack of his heart and his nervous system. He has to be taken care of from time to time. And Harry gladly took the role of his doctor. Now Louis’ world revolves only around Harry. And Liam is sure Harry likes that too well. Harry likes to keep Louis for his own. 

Harry on the other hand attends Louis’ school. He lived and strived, became known as the smartest one, most talented one, the handsome popular one, the friendliest to boot. He is an asteroid. 

Harry didn’t immediately recognize Liam on his first day back in Louisiana, when Liam signed up for the basketball team. He had to introduce himself to the basketball team captain. 

“Oh. Oh, Liam. Louis’ childhood bestfriend, right? It is you!” Harry exclaimed and pulled him in a one-arm hug. 

Liam couldn’t blame Harry’s reaction. They were not close when they were kids. 

Through Harry he met Louis again. After class, Liam accompanied him in his house and there he found his former knight in shining armor. The former sun is now restricted in the small solar system that is his and Harry’s room, and Harry is his only planet. 

“Don’t worry, Liam,” Harry had said to him when Louis fell asleep after their little reunion. “I’m keeping my promise to be Louis’ protector. I’ll take care of him. I won’t get tired. I will protect him from harm, and keep him. Forever and ever.” 

_Ain’t that the fucking truth_ , Liam thinks grudgingly now as he climbs the stairs. 

His will is fading now, his memories of the past (the real past) is starting to disappear. He is about to embrace Zayn now. Harry’s lips are starting to spread into a triumphant smile. Louis smiles, too, in gratitude it seems. 

Their reactions make Liam think if all these are all Louis’ doings or Harry (whatever the hell he is) is conscious enough to take part in this, too. But one thing’s for sure, Louis will remember _everything_. This new reality and the reality he erased. Louis and Harry will. How they observe Liam’s actions right now is more than telling that they can keep up with what’s happening. And, after all, they are the creators of this new world. They spew different realities. 

As Zayn envelopes Liam in a hug, he wonders if Louis will soon face regret in what he’s done. If he doesn’t mean to kill his mother and sister and detriment his own health for one simple edit that, surprisingly, changed the whole world. How sad it is that Liam’s sun is growing darker than ever. Then he wonders if Louis can live with both memories of the reality now and the reality forgotten. 

There is a concept they discussed in their literature class. DOUBLETHINK, a term from _1984_ which Sir Cowell is teaching for three weeks now. Doublethink is a Newspeak word that means the mutability of the past, and the denial of objective reality. In Oldspeak it simply means Reality Control. It is to know the looming truth and yet live in a constructed lie. It is to hold two contradicting opinions and believe them both. It is to use your memory and the truth you know at your convenience 

In Louis’ case, it is to experience a healthy life with your mother and sisters and many friends and yet to live as an ill-stricken bedridden orphan with only a boy lover to revolve his world in. It is to know that you have a high school classmate named Niall and yet believe he never became part of your life as he died very young. It is the macabre reality that eight-year-old Harry Edward Styles died without ever meeting you and it is the creepier alternative where he lived and for some reason more people in record died. It is the truth that you never met someone named Harry, Harry never knew you as well, and yet it is the lie that says you and him are now in each other’s spaces and will never part. 

Harry and Louis shall exercise DOUBLETHINK alone. How Louis can survive that, Liam is unsure. Someone could have saved him. Someone like Niall who knew the truth. But he is gone, he never existed, and Liam is forgetting the love he has for Louis and replacing it with his love for Zayn. Liam won’t be a part in the game Harry and Louis are playing. A new reality has taken control of his mind. He will never wake from this sweet nightmare. 

Presently, Liam notices Harry and Louis are kissing, the former is almost squeezing the latter in his embrace. 

“Goddamn, Harry. Give my friend air to breath, will you? You know his condition,” Liam says half-jokingly and half-seriously. 

Zayn drapes a lazy arm around Liam, sniggering. “No sickness can prevent raging boners, Lee-yum!” 

He really, really likes the way Zayn says his name. 

Harry and Louis had to break of their kiss to laugh at Zayn’s hilarious remark. 

“True. True,“ agrees Harry to the comment. 

“Don’t tease us. It’s Harry’s birthday,” Louis chides them. “I guess now he has a right to do whatever he wants.” 

“I can? Wow. Guess that makes me the luckiest guy in the world. Someone should play the rhumba for me to mark this historic day.” They all laugh. Harry kisses the tip of Louis’ nose appreciatively. 

“By the way, why’re you late, Li? We’ve all been waiting for you,” Zayn asks his boyfriend. 

“I… I’m not sure…” 

Harry and Louis seem to be eagerly anticipating for an answer. Their stare on Liam is so intense, Liam could’ve sworn they are onto something. But for the life of him, he couldn’t remember why he was late. 

“The bus is late,” Liam says finally. 

Zayn clicks his tongue. “I told you we should’ve come here together. Wait. I think that’s Phoebe coming out of the kitchen now. There’s your birthday cake, Styles. Let’s all go down so you can make a wish or whatever you do with a cake.” 

The curly boy shakes his head fondly. “Nah. I’ve got my wish right here.” He and Louis exchange a grin and he squeezes the shorter boy’s shoulder tenderly. 

“Ugh!” “Raging boners.” Liam and Zayn say at the same time. 

“Oh, you guys. I just really love Louis.” 

#


End file.
